A boy laughs in the distance

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A boy laughs in the distance.

A girl checks her makeup,

And I,

A Junior,

Blindly walk into a new school year.

Some stuff goes here.

Thinking back on the fatal day,

Hearing the screeching tires,

I remember the way she looked.

So happy,

So beautiful,

So full of life.

I blame myself for what happened,

I blame my irresponsibility.

Had I waited two more seconds,

She would still be with me.

I remember the way that she laughed at my jokes,

And the way she smiled when I was foolish.

I remember how secure she felt,

When she was with me.

I told her that nothing would ever happen,

If we were together,

But now she’s gone.

She trusted me with her life,

But I failed.

I can still her scream,

So loud,

So real.

I wish it were me that was gone.

I go through the thousands of reasons daily,

But in the end,

I’m here,

And she’s up there.

She was ready to live her life to the full potential,

And I wasn’t.

She had infinite options,

While I had no idea of what was going on.

Yet I ended her life,

Always beautiful,

Once full of possibilities,

And now gone,

Because of me.

The guilt I feel is enormous.

My friends don’t talk to me about it,

But I wish they did.

I don’t know what to do,

I feel lost.

It has been a long time since I looked to someone,

Other than her,

For help.

Now there is no one to talk to.
I look for my friends,

But they change the subject.

I look towards my family,

But they are too busy.

Finally I look to my side,

Hoping to see her,

Offering support,

But she never is.
I have nothing else to life for.
My family,

Friends,

And self have made that painfully clear.
When I look in their eyes I see a sadness of a lost friend.

Soon I will be with her,

And all of the pain I have caused will stop.

Soon my friends will forget,

And my family will live on,

No longer bearing the shame of a murdering son.

A girl cries in the distance.

A boy tries to comfort her.

And I,

A junior,

Clearly see the past,

And everything that had happened…

I don’t know if that will be the last line.

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